And then there days like this one, of complete exhaustion.
It's not just about today, it's about all thats been going on. I need some fresh air, some perspective. I need some change, some inspiration. I need some dreaming, some imagination.
Everything that can go wrong, is going wrong. Very much so. I'm suffocated, but there's little I can do about it that an overcome my claustrophobic tendencies. It's been so long since I've even reacted. Frankly, I'm too tired to react.
Then, when all's wrong I remind myself- I've always struggled and had to put in extra effort for all that I've ever achieved. I've always dealt with my shit all by myself- alone and sometimes even lonely. I've always cleaned up my own mess. So this time too, it shall be the case.
But what do you do, when its just fatigue you feel? Today, I actually told someone I'll give up. It feels strange to feel these things.
Rock bottom can be an awesome place to reach because from here you can only rise upwards. But you know what? I'm tired. Period.