Montage of Memories

Night; still I walked a while
The rain; It was teasing me, I  knew
So I could break into a smile
While tears rolled down my cheeks
And inside me, I felt the cold and the blue.
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I looked down the road.
I always did, you know.
There was so much noise around
I couldn't hear a thing though.
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And then you held me
A way I never thought you would.
And when I looked into your eyes,
I could see you look into mine.
In the movies, this would have been it.
But in my montage, I can only feel the pain.
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When I heard him choke
Or saw his eyes well up,
Something inside me tossed.
It tossed and it turned.
It tossed and it turned.
But I stood smiling.
So, he told me am stone hearted and cold.
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We stayed up the whole night
Just she and I
And our bottle of rum.
Talking about the times that were
And the ones still to come.
There's a window sill there,
To which, I owe a goodbye.
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I din't think life could get any better.
Just all of us around
Engaged in useless banter
Boxer shorts and many a jester
Did we know then, how life would alter?
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Left, Right, Left
Or was it Right, Left and then Right?
They zoomed past, while I thought
I'll be under one those
That will be reason for my death, I propose.
I looked up to find you smiling
And realized am already on the other side of the crossing.
Why did it comfort me so much,
This hand holding?
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I lay down on that bed the whole day
Wishing it were a little wider
Or maybe just a little longer?
The window should let more in too, you know.
And why, just why was the ceiling fan noisy so?
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For all the chitter-chatter
and loud laughter
I know I owe them a letter
Hell no, the cat too?
Never; I don't miss it
And it was never cute.
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I was in high spirits,
Quite literally so!
But I could see their faces all lit.
I din't deserve all this.
Not one bit.
Surprise, affection, hugs, et all.
I cried because I was having a ball!
Twenty one I'd like to be again.
If only these memories wouldn't cause so much pain.

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