Love

Is it the warmth of this hug,
The smile on my face?
Is it your breath in my ear,
Or that despondent gaze?


I don't know what love is
But I know what it can't be.
Love can't be all the lies you say.


Is it your arms all around me,
My shoulders bare?
Is it the way my nerves tremble
When you so much as stare?


I don't know what love is
But I know what it can't be.
Love can't be when you just don't care.


Is it the giddiness within,
With the world unaware?
Is it the way I look at you,
Or all the things that I share?


I don't know what love is
But I know what it can't be.
Love can't be this pain, this anger rare.

Is it the grasp of your hand,

So perfect, just right?

Is it how you fall asleep,

Holding me tight? 

I don't know what love is

But I know what it can't be.

Love can't be waking up to a fight. 

Is it my face in your hands,
Your face in my hair?
Is it the things you say to me
When nobody's there?


I don't know what love is
But I know what it can't be.
Love can't be you walking away

~

Things to do.

Like I told someone a while back, the checklist keeps getting longer, but I can't remember ticking anything off it.
Nevertheless, we are souls that live in hope. We don't like to see what 'can't'. We will go on and dream. :)

1. Write a book. I don't know if i will ever want to or will publish it. But I have to write at least one good book. The problem is that my chain of thought is so random. All that I will be able to manage will be a collection of few random snippets, that I am certain I will never be certain about. 
2. Learn the salsa (Atleast am on my way here :) ), waltz and tango. 
3. Politics/Government Service. I don't know how just yet. But this has to happen. 
4. Impact rural education situation. I know how to, just waiting for the right time. THIS I know I will do. 
5. Have the perfect dance. Yes, perfection is over-rated. But, move on you cynics. There never is harm in hoping. ;)
6. Start up my own enterprise. 
7. Spanish: Well I have learnt it. Just need to get back to it. Take the basic level exam and brush it all up! 
8. Fall in what they call love. Hopelessly, mercilessly. I'd like to know the feeling of being helpless and crazy. Just because it will be too unique an experience to miss out on. What would it be like to just let go? 
9. Read everything, anything, just absolutely everything- fiction, politics, history, poetry. Okay, science fiction and the likes of John Grisham are not included. That shit is just out of bounds. 
10. Script and direct my own play. I am 21. This was supposed to have happened by now. Really. 
11. Become financially independent- afford the lifestyle I want to lead, buy my own house (pretty one that I know how I am going to do up), investments, fund my own education, everything. 
12.  Go to sleep with an empty mind. Sigh. 

So that is tata, until I wake up 6 months later and make another list with a few common points and some hopelessly contradictory. 

If I got paid for thinking, there would be very few richer than me. I swear.

~

Untitled

The mirror cracked,
The shadow screamed
The laughter died,
The green eyes did gleam.

Neither friend nor foe,
Can help one save his soul, no.
The war with the self
The mind is unsure.

You can't undo what's done,
The drama's just begun.
Reasons plenty to lie.
But from yourself, away can you shy?

There's a song in your head,
But the music is dead.
Only shadows screaming
And those green eyes gleaming.

You can't turn around and walk away.
You can't sit down and start to cry.
So you shut your eyes
And say it's over.
Knowing fully well, that the cloud of thought
still hovers.

~

Living in the Shadows

I cannot believe I had not heard this song until now. Considering the title of the song, of course. 
Hey, I really thought "living in the shadows" could be the original phrase I coined and I will make famous. Looks like Billy Talent is already all over the place. 


----------------


Constant quick fixes, don't make no sense
Hop on bandwagons, they make me sick

Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
Close your eyes and you will lose the fight
[When you're living in the shadows]
Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
I can tell that, you have lost your sight
[When you're living in the shadows]

Distant loud chuckles, keep me awake
Awkward instances, won't make you hip

Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
Close your eyes and you will lose the fight
[When you're living in the shadows]
Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
I can tell that, you have lost your sight
[When you're living in the shadows]

We've said this all before, your shadow's at the door
We've done this all before, your gun is at the door
There's darkness in the hall and we won't take the fall
And we won't take the fall

Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
Close your eyes and you will lose the fight
[When you're living in the shadows]
Don't you tell me, what you think is right
[When you're living in the shadows]
I can tell that, you have lost your sight
[When you're living in the shadows]
[x2]