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Do you know her so well,
Only,
to tear her apart
and devour her pieces?

Do you tell her you love her
Only,
to break her heart
and see her so needy?

Do lie beside her
Only,
to hear her cry
as you pretend to sleep?

~

At least we wrote a poem

We never did fit that frame perfect,
We never did laugh together, alike
We couldn't even see eye to eye


But as we cursed and swore
And bled dry,
We wrote a poem
You and I 


~

A little Crush

After what seems like ages,
I blushed
And as I lowered my eyes,
I could sense myself go flippity floppity 
Flip Flop 


Because through the silly giggle,
And the loud loud laughter,
I know you're jokes aren't funny
But this is such a happy bubble 

~

...

An itch above my eyebrow
Your cold cold glare
No sunshine through the window
A childhood nightmare.


~

Exhaustion

A life we love and how
The love we hate and how
Lack of balance,
Mind numbing patience 
We wait, we wait
And our hearts sink oh-so-low


In a green green field 
From our deepest dream,
We break into a song
A solitary rhyme on a mountain top
Simplified to the last drop. 


But the mind's a rueful mess just now
And the dreams are grey and black
A tired sigh that's oh-so-loud
Too fatigued even to pray. 


Come fill me in with love alike
And the starlit sky from your sleep
Just sit beside me in the rain
The cliche lullaby, we'll sing. 

~

The one thing 2011 told me

.. was to never say never.

It was so easy when I told people that we are not what we want to be but what we do. Even if we do something 'unlike' us, the truth is we've done it and so it's like us isn't it?
But when you see this actually transcend into reality and the kind of reality that hits you in the face, it takes a lot of courage to try and turn the odds back in your favour.

This hasn't been an easy year. Mostly because unlike 2010, which was a year where I did things, this was year were things just happened. For someone as controlling as me, to let go and be free flowing is a herculean task. But to just have so much happen by itself is numbing in a way. It's like you're still recovering from one thing and something else happens. That sums up my 2011 actually.

So sometimes, I wonder what I really learnt from 2011. I know it's made me stronger. But heck, doesn't age just do that to you anyway?

Here's to a simpler 2012. One that's uncomplicated. One that's not a whirlpool of love, hatred, anger and joy mixed up in a strange fashion. One that solves 2011 and one that let's me sleep peacefully.

~

.....

Scars gathered along
In the painful memory of time,
Dusty remains and the aching truth
Was all that was left behind.

 ~