Confused child, where art thou?

I was once asked by someone, who is actually my namesake, "You are always confused aren't you?"
I could only smile, nod my head and sigh "Indeed".
Most of us do look for that perfect phrase or word to describe our lives, I guess "Perpetual Confusion" would define mine.
It is funny to an onlooker, tiresome to a friend, a characteristic trait to my family but nothing less that unnerving to myself.
My astounding levels of confusion startle my own self. I reach a new height every passing day and life has come to a point where there is no looking back. Its an irony to say the least. Am I not the same person who is perceived as organized, focused and 'in charge'? I stopped trying to demystify this a while back. Now I just accept it as yet another paradox that is my life.

~

P.S: Random? Yes. But I am just glad this one's not morbid. :P

All over again

The pain, the confusion, the love, the hatred, the uncertainty, the aggression, the calm, the tears, the laughter, the joy, the memories..

I experienced all those things all over again. Only, this time I am trying not to succumb to them.

I made a choice instead- a decision some call sudden, some call strange and some think its downright stupid.

I think it is all those things. But in entirety, I know its right.

I do not know if it what I want, but I know it is what I need.

And when you don't know what you want, what you need becomes the 'right', the very right.

So there I go again. I think I am getting used to being erratic.

Riddhi Kapoor, stop thinking so much and just jump right in!

~~